These are the unavoidable laws of the natural universe…
1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to ITCH or you’ll have to pee.
2. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you NEVER get a busy signal.
3. Wilson’s Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will STOP making it.
4. Variation Law: If you change traffic lanes, the one you were in will start to move FASTER than the one you are in now. (works every time).
5. Brown’s Law: If the shoe fits, it’s UGLY.
6. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the TELEPHONE rings.
7. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it WILL.
8. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don’t know WHAT you are talking about.
9. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is INVERSELY proportional to the reach.
10. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive LAST.
11. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you WILL have a flat tire.