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Author: mitesh

Sloshed

Sloshed

Bob said to his friend Nick, “Dude last night I was completely sloshed. I reached home and kept ringing the bell but my wife didn’t open the door. Had to spend the night on the streets.”

Nick asked, “Did you reprimand your wife in the morning?”

Bob replied, “No. When I got over the hangover, I realized that my wife had gone to spend the weekend at her parents. The keys were in my pocket all the time.”

Ice

Ice

Sandy was travelling on a long distance train and had a drink too many while on board. When he called the service person for the eighth time, the attendant got a little irritated and asked, “Sir, what can I do for you NOW?”

Sandy said, “Please get me some more ice, this is my last drink.”

The service person replied, “I am sorry sir, but that would not be possible.”

Sandy asked, “Why?”

The Service person replied, “That’s because the dead body was taken off the train at the previous stop.”

Under the table

Under the table

A dude was having a candle light dinner with a pretty lady in a nice restaurant. They were smiling and laughing and generally having a good time.

Ana, the waitress, who was serving another customer at the next table, noticed the lady suddenly bend and slide under the table. She also saw that the dude did not seem to take any notice and was just whistling to himself.

Ana, in her profession had seen many strange things but this one seemed a little too odd. She was further surprised to see the lady settle herself under the table and the dude continued to be oblivious of the situation.

Very intrigued and a little concerned about what the other customers would think, Ana went to the table and said, “Excuse me Sir, I think your wife just went under the table.”

The dude replied, “As a matter of fact, she just walked in.”

Not getting married

Not getting married

Adi said to his girlfriend Tina, “I had visited your home yesterday. I don’t think we can get married.”

Tina gasped, “Why? What happened? Did you meet my dad?”

Adi replied, “No. I met your sister. And I think she is too hot!”

Drunk loafer

Drunk loafer

The drunk loafer said to the man at the bus stop, “Are you Spanish?”

Man at the bus stop replied, “No, I am Indian.”

The drunk loafer said, “No! You are Spanish!”

Man at the bus stop replied, “No, I am Indian.”

The Drunk loafer said, “No! You ARE Spanish!”

Man at the bus stop, now irritated, replied, “Ok, I am Spanish.”

The Drunk loafer said, “But you look like an Indian!”

Funny jokes-Just a reminder!

Funny jokes-Just a reminder!

Santa Singh was so frustrated with his wife that he turned to God and said, “I got my babyhood from you, then it was taken away from me. I got my youth from you and then it was taken away from me. I got my wife from you. A lot of time has passed since then…just sending you a gentle reminder!”
Joke of the day-The deal

Joke of the day-The deal

Ashok said to his friend, “It was our 10th anniversary and my wife was expecting something special from me. I did not disappoint her and gifted a set of gold necklace and earrings.There was complete silence at home as she did not talk to me for three months.”
The friend asked, “Why? Were the ornaments not of real gold?”
Ashok replied, “No my friend. That was the deal!”