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Category: adult jokes

The good old times

The good old times

There were three old women – Martha, Linda and Suzie who lived in a Senior citizens home.

One day, they were remembering the good old times. Martha recollected the big and fresh cucumbers she used to buy from the grocer’s shop. She exhibited with her hands the size of the cucumbers she used to bring home.

Linda remembered the juicy cabbages she used to buy and showed with her hands the size of the cabbages she used to buy in pairs.

Suzie, who was hard of hearing, said, “I can’t hear a thing but I bet you are talking about big John.”

Source: www.miteshasher.blogspot.com

Things to learn from a Dog

Things to learn from a Dog

Rina says to her husband, “There’s so much that I learn from our dog Buzo everyday – to be faithful, to love unconditionally, to trust, to be happy, to be appreciative. What did you learn?”
Ted replies quickly, “The position.”
Source: www.miteshasher.blogspot.com
Reservations please!

Reservations please!

When my boss Mr. Jones took his secretary to a hotel, he was asked by the reception person, “Any reservations?”
Mr. Jones replied promptly, “Ya, she won’t let me do it from behind.”
Source: www.miteshasher.blogspot.com
Disoriented

Disoriented

Maria who worked as a secretary in a law firm, was walking down the passage. Mr. Russel, one of the partners of the firm noticed that she seemed to be a little disoriented. Her hair was messy, her clothes wrinkled, and worse, one of her b**bies was hanging out of the dress.
Shocked at the sight, Mr. Russel screamed, “Maria! Why on earth are you roaming around the hallway looking so disoriented, that too with your top exposed??!”
“Oh my God”, said Maria as she put her hanging asset back into her dress, “It’s those good-for-nothing interns! They always forget to put back things after they have used it!”
Source: www.miteshasher.blogspot.com
Active?

Active?

The country bum visited the gynac with his daughter.

There was a long queue in the clinic. Finally, they were called inside the doctor’s cabin.

The gynac asked, “Well, what is the problem?”

The country bum replied, “Need to put her on birth control.”

The gynac asked, “Is she active with the boys?”

The country bum replied, “Nah! She just lays there same way her mother does.”

Help with mathematics

Help with mathematics

Mr.Runwal wanted some clarifications in an Invoice that was given to him. He asked his secretary, Lily for help.
 
He said to her, “If I give you 45000 dollars less 12.36% service tax, how much would you take off?”

Lily promptly replied, “Everything but my necklace.”

Unique name

Unique name

Rita bought a racehorse and named him Myface.

Her friend Dolly commented, “Isn’t that a strange name for a horse? What are you going to do with him?”

Rita replied, “He is one of the fastest horses in the circuit. But I have not bought him for his speed. I don’t mind if he does not win any races.”

Dolly was very confused and asked, “Then what have you bought him for?”

Rita replied, “I will get utmost satisfaction when I hear those posh snobbish women scream, “Come on, Myface!”