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Category: animal jokes

Hilarious jokes-The farm expereince

Hilarious jokes-The farm expereince

Antonio was passing through the country side. It was getting dark, so he stopped at a farmhouse and asked the owner if he could stay the night. The owner agreed and offered him a room for the night.
In the morning, the owner asked Antonio if he could catch some sleep.
Antonio replied, “Actually, no. The bed was comfortable and there was cross-ventilation in the room, but there was a constant sound of someone banging the door.
The owner said, “Oh, that’s old Buzo, the pig. He gets distressed when we give his room to someone.”
Tiger running loose

Tiger running loose

Sam was taking a stroll down the street when he noticed a crowd running in his direction.

He stopped one of the men and asked, “What’s going on? Why is everyone running?”

The man replied, “A tiger has escaped the zoo and is running loose.”

Sam asked, “Oh my God! Which way is it headed?”

The man replied sarcastically, “You can’t possibly be thinking we are chasing it!!”

Wasp sting

Wasp sting

Bubba came running to the doc, writhing in pain. He said to the doc, “Help me please! I’ve been stung by a wasp!”

The doc said, “Nothing to worry. Let me put some anti-sting cream on it.”

Bubba said, “How will you find the wasp? It would have traveled a long distance by now.”

The doc said, “You misunderstood. I will apply some cream on the place you were stung.”

Bubba said, “Place? I was stung next to a tree in the lawn.”

The doc said, “No! What I mean it that the cream will be applied on your body part where the wasp stung you.”

Bubba said, “The wasp stung me on my finger and it hurts!”

The doc asked, “Which one?”

Bubba answered, “How do I know? All them wasps look the same to me!”

Deaf cat

Deaf cat

John took his cat to the vet and said to him , “I think Alice is deaf. Can you please check her and advise if her condition can be corrected?”

The vet said, “Let me examine her.”

So the vet picked up the cat and examined her let ear and then her right ear. After a while, he said, “I think I should put her down.”

John asked in a shocked voice, “Put her down? Just because the poor thing is deaf?”

The vet smiled and said, “No. Your cat is very heavy.”

The bait!

The bait!

When Fisherman Harry arrived at the river bank, he realized he had forgotten to carry bait to fish. He was wondering if he should go back home, when he noticed a toad catch a worm. Harry caught hold of the toad and snatched the worm away from it.

He proceeded with his fishing, but he was feeling bad for the toad. So he picked up the toad again and dropped a few drops of brandy down its throat.

Harry was back to his fishing, when he saw the toad hopping its way to where he was sitting. This time, the toad, had 4 more worms in its mouth!

Urgent call!

Urgent call!

When Joe at the fire dept picked up the phone, he heard a shrieking voice which said, “Help! Help!! There is a cat here which is about to attack me! It’s a nasty cat and it intends to kill me. i need helllpp! Please send the fire brigade urgently.”

Joe said, “Relax sir, cats are not harmful.Just let it go away.”

“You don’t understand!”, the voice at the other end said, “Its about to bite me. I could die!!”

Joe said, “Take it easy sir. Cats are not wild animals. They do not kill people.Who is this calling?”

“I am Perry the parrot, you idiot. Do something fast or I will be history.”

Nasty habit

Nasty habit

John said to his friend, “I am fed up with my labrador. He has this nasty habit of chasing people on a bicycle.”

His friend Joe said,”Well, that could be a lot of trouble for you. What are you gonna do about it?”

John replied, “The only solution I see is to take away his bicycle.”