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Category: Blonde jokes

Blonde witness

Blonde witness

A blonde named Edna had to appear in court as a witness in a lawsuit. The prosecutor asked her, “Where were you the night of 5th September?”

“Objection!” said the defense attorney. “It’s irrelevant!”

“Oh, that’s okay,” said Edna from the witness stand. “I can answer that question.”

“I object!” the defense said again.

“No, really,” said Edna. “I don’t mind giving the answer.”

The judge ruled: “If the witness insists on answering, there is no reason for the defense to object.”

So the prosecutor repeated the question: “Where were you the night of 5th September?”

Edna replied brightly, “I don’t know.”

Pregnancy test

Pregnancy test

A blonde called Tina was eagerly waiting for her husband to return home. As soon as John rang the bell, Tina ran to open the door and hugged him tight. She started jumping with excitement, so John asked her the reason for her enthusiasm.

Tina said, “Darling, I have some great news! I am pregnant!!”

John planted a kiss on her cheek and said, “That’s amazing news! I am so happy!”

Tina went on, “Sweetheart, there’s more!”

“More?” John asked, “What do you mean?'”

Tina said, “We are going to have TWINS!!”

Surprised at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.

She said, “Well, I went to K-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and guess what, both tests came out positive!”

Blonde jokes-Electra Syndrome

Blonde jokes-Electra Syndrome

A blonde called Bambi goes to a psychiatrist for a check up and after examining her, the doc comments, “You are suffering from Electra Syndrome which means that you are in love with your own Father.”

Bambi, on hearing the diagnosis, breaks down & sobs uncontrollably.

“It’s ok,” comforts the psychiatrist. “It’s not all that bad.”

“It IS bad,” sobs the blonde. “I I don’t stand a chance…he’s a married man!”

Blonde jokes-No more than four

Blonde jokes-No more than four

A blonde named Sheila declared to her husband that they will not have more than 4 children.

The husband asked why.

Sheila replied, “That’s because I read on the internet that one out of every five babies born in the world is Chinese.”

Pregnant blonde

Pregnant blonde

A pregnant blonde is ready to give birth to her first child.

The concerned gynecologist asks, “Will the father be present during the birth?”

“Nope,” replied the blonde. He and my husband don’t see eye-to-eye.”