Kim Kardashian’s marriage was doomed to failure from the start because her sister’s husband, Lamar Odom, is a much better basketball player than her husband is.
Today a judge sentenced Lindsay Lohan to 30 days in jail for violating her probation. Or as Kim Kardashian put it, “30 days? That’s like four marriages!” -Jimmy Fallon
Q: Why was George Michael’s automobile insurance canceled?
A: He was rear-ended too many times.
Q: What is the US government using the All Oprah All the time XM Satellite radio channel for?
A: Torturing inmates at Guantanamo Bay .
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Q. Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky turned Republican?
A. The democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.