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Category: children jokes

The final warning

The final warning

My little son Neel was being very naughty one night and refused to go to bed. He was sent several times to sleep but would come back to the living room on one pretext or the other and say, “Ma, can you do this for me” or “Ma, can you give me some cookies to eat.” 
After many such episodes, I grew tired of his constant demands and hissed my final warning to him, “Enough is enough. If the word ‘Ma’ is uttered one more time tonight, you have had it. Go to sleep immediately!!!”
A few minutes passed, and I heard him whisper, “Mrs. Asher, can I have some water to drink?”
Source: www.miteshasher.blogspot.com
Toad on the road

Toad on the road

Little Tommy was on the way to school when he found a toad on the street. He picked it up and carried it to school. He placed the toad on his desk and as soon as Mrs. Jones, the Maths teacher entered the class, she let out a loud scream.

She yelled, “What is THAT on your desk, Tommy??”

Little Tommy replied, “Oh, it’s a deaf toad.”

“What??” said Mrs. Jones, “And may I ask how do you know it is deaf?”

Little Tommy replied, “I pisssed in its ear but it made no movement.”

“Tommy!!! What did you just say?? What did you do into the toad’s ear?” shouted Mrs. Jones.

Little Tommy said, “I just told you. I bent down and went PSSSSSTTTTT in its ear, but the toad wouldn’t react!”

My kinda nut

My kinda nut

Little Suzie was in the garden picking walnuts with her grandmother.

Her grandmother said, “You know Suzie, you mother loves these kind of nuts.”

Little Suzie said, “Those may be mom’s favorite, but the kind of nuts I love are dough-nuts.”

Jill’s concern

Jill’s concern

Little Jill came running to her father and said, “Daddy, there’s a man at the door. He says he is from the church and he is collecting for old folks. Should we hide grandma?”
Little boy’s trick

Little boy’s trick

A simple school teacher named Andrew Jones was walking home after school when he saw a little boy try to ring the doorbell of a house, but try as he may, his hands would not reach the doorbell.

Andrew watched for some time, and crossed the street and pressed the bell.

The moment he did that, the little boy ran screaming, “Get out of there fast, they have a blood-thirsty Rottweiler!”

Smart son

Smart son

“Mom”, my little son Aaron asked me, “Did God make you?”

“Yes, he did.” I replied.

Aaron continued, “Then I suppose he made me too.”

“Um hmm…yep, that’s right.” I replied.

Aaron commented, “Isn’t he getting better with time, what do you think?”

Mind your manners

Mind your manners

When 5-year old Suzie came home after attending her school friend’s birthday party, her mother, Mrs. Jones, who was very particular with manners and etiquette, asked her, “Suzie, did you say THANK U before leaving the party?”

Suzie replied, “No. I did not. I heard this boy ahead of me say Thank u but the birthday girl said Don’t mention it, so I said nothing.”