When he asks about this the professor answers: “the questions are always the same – only the answers change!”
I don’t believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Dieting – New Year Resolutions
2008: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.
2009: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.
2010: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.
2011: I will work out 3 days a week.
2012: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.
Hollywood called me, asking me, “How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?”
“$50,000”, I said.
They called back, “How about $20,000?”
I said, “I’ll pay it!”
In much the same way the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.
What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?