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Category: doctor jokes

A doctor’s remorse

A doctor’s remorse

Dr. James went to see a shrink.

The shrink said to him, “How can I help you doctor?”

Dr. James replied, “I slept with my patient yesterday, and I am full of remorse. I am feeling terribly guilty about it?”

The shrink tried to reassure him by saying, “It’s ok. You are not the first doctor to have got personal with your patient.”

“But” said Dr. James, “I am a Vet.”

Nevermind

Nevermind

Dr. Williams was sleeping soundly when the sound of the phone ringing roused him from his deep slumber. He picked up the phone and growled, “Who is this?”

It was Katie, a young mother, who pleaded on the phone, “We need you to come over urgently. My kid has swallowed a contracptve.”

Dr Williams mumbled, “Okay, I am on my way.”

While he was getting dressed, he got another call from Katie. “Doc”, she said sounding calm, “Nevermind. My hubby found another one.”

Eye doctor

Eye doctor

You should have seen my dad’s face when I took him to the eye doctor to operate on him for cataract. The doctor did everything he could to make him relax, but my dad’s nervousness was at it’s peak.

The doctor kept reassuring him. I also stood next to him if it gave him any consolation. It was what the doctor said after finishing with his first eye, that made my Dad jump! 

The good doctor said, “Well, only one eye left.”
I told you!

I told you!

A doctor says to his patient, “Mrs. Smith, you will live to be 80.”

Mrs. Smith protests, “But doctor I am 80.”

The doctor comments: “See! Didn’t I tell you?”

Funny dentist joke

Funny dentist joke

Jeremy was suffering from toothache and went to a dentist to get his tooth pulled out.

The lady dentist took out a numbing needle to give Jeremy a shot of Novocain.

“There’s no way I am going to take a needle”, reacted Jeremy.

The lady dentist then started to hook up the nitrous oxide and Jeremy objected again. “I hate the gas thing. The very fact of having the gas mask on is suffocating!”

The dentist then asks Jeremy if he has any objection to taking a pill.

“Pills will be fine,” replies Jeremy.

The dentist then gives a medicine to him & says, “Here’s a Viagra.”

Jeremy says, “Hey, I never knew Viagra worked as a painkiller!”

“It doesn’t” said the dentist, “but it’s going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth!”

Delivery doubts

Delivery doubts

Pam looked anxious when the gynecologist confirmed to her that she was pregnant.

She said to the doctor, “This is the first time I am having a baby and I have absolutely no clue how a delivery takes place.”

The doctor comforted her by saying, “You have nothing to worry. It’s not much different from how the baby came into being in the first place.”

Pam was surprised and asked, “You mean thrice around the park with my legs dangling out of the taxi?”