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Category: humor jokes

Knocked flat

Knocked flat

Jack was walking on a footpath when he stepped off it and into the road, without looking left or right. He was immediately knocked flat by a cyclist.

The burly cyclist said to Jack, “You are one hell of a lucky guy.”

Jack, who hadn’t yet picked himself up, yelled, “What do you mean? You crashed into me and it really hurt!”

The cyclist said, “I normally drive a truck.”

Merry scooter ride

Merry scooter ride

Joshua was riding merrily on his scooter when he was stopped by a motorcycle cop.

Joshua asked, “Did I do something wrong?”

The cop said, “Guess you did not notice but your wife fell off the scooter at the last bend.”

“Oh…did she?”, said a relieved Joshua “I almost thought I had lost my hearing.”

Acting fresh

Acting fresh

Darius, an Egyptian guide, was getting fresh with an American tourist in Giza. He said to her, “Would you like to see the back of the pyramid with me? I will make you a mummy.”
Robbed?

Robbed?

Katie was walking home late one night, when she was accosted by a stranger who dragged her into a dark alley.

Katie screamed, “Help! Someone help me! I am being robbed!”

The stranger said to her fiercely, “You are not being mugged.You are being forced!”

With this, the stranger unzipped his pants.

Katie looked down and said, “If you are forcing me with that, I am being robbed!”

Windcheater worn backward

Windcheater worn backward

Danny and Luka were riding their Harley one windy afternoon. Luka, who was the pillion rider, put his windcheater on backwards as the zipper of the windcheater was not working. These guys were speeding and at the next bend, they meet with an accident. The truck driver who hit them, sped the scene of the accident. Danny is killed instantly, while Luka is in a state of shock.

When the police photographer arrived, he asked the policeman on duty what had happened.

The policeman replied, “Well, one was already dead when I arrived, and by the time I managed to straighten the head of this blonde, he was dead, too.”

The biker

The biker

An Indian CRPF personnel was walking down the mountainside when he sees a biker stranded beside a bike in the corner of the road. It was freezing. The rider seemed to be attired in several layers of clothing,  a windcheater and a helmet. In a voice barely audible through the helmet, the biker said that the carburetor was frozen.

The CRPF guy said to the biker, “The only thing you can do is urinate on it.”

The biker said, “I can’t do that.”

So, the CRPF personnel shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to urinate on the carburetor himself. Almost immediately, the bike fired up.

Next week, the CRPF office received a letter from a man who thanked them for the roadside assistance that his young daughter received from the CRFP personnel.