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Category: Life

Bank joke-Who has the money?

Bank joke-Who has the money?

When I looked around at the HDFC bank branch, an attendant rushed to me and asked, “May I help you Sir?”
I said, “Yes, I would like to open a Joint bank account please.”
The attendant, (ignoring my wife who was with me) asked, “Who would you like to open it with?”
Not to let an opportunity like that go by, I joked, “With anybody here who is loaded.”
Life-A teacher’s debt to soceity

Life-A teacher’s debt to soceity

Mrs. Fox  was speeding near the high school where she taught.

A police car pulled her over and the cop asked for my license and documents. As Mrs. Fox’s students drove past, they started honking and hurling comments.

The cop asked her if she was a teacher at the school, and when Mrs. Fox nodded in the affirmative, this is that the cop said:

“Well, guess you have already paid your debt to society,” and let her go!

When your wife wants to see your phone…

When your wife wants to see your phone…

Wife: Can I see your phone for a second?

Husband: Just a moment….
(He gets busy doing the following)
Remove video.
Remove pictures.
Remove private folder.
Remove numbers.
Remove sms.
Remove outgoing calls record.
Remove incoming calls record.
Remove mms.
Remove what’s app.
FORMAT Memory Card…
Here you go, I have nothing to hide from you!

Wife: But I just wanted to see the time…

What Farmer Joe leaves behind

What Farmer Joe leaves behind

What Farmer Joe leaves behind. He leaves:

To his wife: His overdraft at the bank. Maybe she can explain it.

To his son: Equity on his car. Now he will have to go to work to meet the payments.

To his banker: His soul. The banker has the mortgage on it anyway.

To his neighbor: His clown suit. The neighbor will need it if he continues to farm as he has in the past.

To the farm credit corporation: His unpaid bills. They took some real chances on him. He wants to do something for them.

To the junk man: All his machinery. The junk man had his eyes on it for years.

To his undertaker: A special request. He wants six implement dealers and six fertilizer dealers for pallbearers. They are used to carrying him.

To the weatherman: Rain, hail and snow for the funeral please. No sense in having good weather now.

To the grave digger: Don’t bother. The hole he’s in now should be big enough.

And lastly
To the monument maker: Set up a jig for the epitaph. “Here lies a farmer who has noLinkw properly assumed all of his obligations.”

Romantic note

Romantic note

It was a sunny morning and I found a pretty red rose with a long stem on the kitchen table.

I was wondering how after all these years of marriage, my husband could still be so romantic. There was a small love note placed next to it.

It read – “Darling, please DO NOT touch the rose. I am using it’s stem to unclog the drain.”

Complicated family

Complicated family

“Families are complicated enough, but things became even more confusing after my father decided to get married to my brother’s mother-in-law. “Now I can’t make up my mind whether he’s my dad or my father-in- law,” says my brother, “or if my mother-in-law is now my stepmother, or whether my child is my daughter or my niece.”
Life-Didn’t kick

Life-Didn’t kick

Naomi, who was expecting her third child, told the other two children that this baby is kicking a lot. She further explained that when she had the first one, Johnny, he didn’t kick too much.

Johnny gently said to his mother “Mom, do you know why I didn’t kick you too much? Because I knew you were my Mommy”.