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Category: light bulb jokes

Light bulb jokes-Microsoft support staff

Light bulb jokes-Microsoft support staff

Q. How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Four.
One to ask “What is the registration number of the light bulb?”,
one to ask “Have you tried rebooting it?”,
another to ask “Have you tried reinstalling it?”
and the last one to say “It must be your hardware because the light bulb in our office works fine…”

Light bulb jokes-Drummers

Light bulb jokes-Drummers

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they have machines that do that now.

Five, one to do it and four to beat back all the guitarists who are trying to elbow their way into the spotlight.

Twenty, one to hold the bulb and 19 to drink so much the room spins.

Light bulb jokes-Lawyers

Light bulb jokes-Lawyers

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

# “How many can you afford?”

# It only takes one to change your bulb…to his.

# Two. One to change it and one to keep interrupting by standing up and shouting “Objection!”
Three. One to do it and two to sue him for malpractice.

# Three. One to turn the bulb, one to shake him off the ladder, and the third to sue the ladder company.

# Three. One to sue the power company for insufficiently supplying power, or negligent failure to prevent the surge that made the bulb burn out in the first place, one to sue the electrician who wired the house, and one to sue the bulb manufacturers.

# Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

Light bulb jokes-Different musicians

Light bulb jokes-Different musicians

How many flutists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he’ll spend $5,000 on a Sterling silver bulb.

How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to screw in the bulb and the others to stand around and say, “I could do that better.”

How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he’ll do it too loudly.

How many clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but he’ll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.

Light bulb jokes-How many Archaeologists?

Light bulb jokes-How many Archaeologists?

How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?

# Generally only one, but some rooms we can’t even get into since 1934.

# Are you kidding?! Why would we let them do that? The broken bulb is a national treasure, pointing to our rich, rich history and culture. No, we would rather build a shrine there, and charge admission to see the ‘ancient luminosity device’…hmmm, maybe we could even sell little figurines…

# Actually they are afraid to do it…they think that if they remove the top layer bulb, that they will disturb the (presumed) earlier bulbs that are screwed in beneath the one that is currently showing…

# Only one, but it will take years and years of initial site study…we have to first correlate all the surrounding furniture and domestic devices, and then decide whether the anthropological theory about the bulb being a cultic object (based on its central location in the room, its being up out of reach–symbolizing transcendence, and its obviously sun-like shape) is a correct socio-economic understanding…

# All of them. One to change the bulb, and the rest of them to weep about what Thiering, Allegro, Baigent and Leigh will write about it…

# No amount of them can do it, but for an underground antiquities dealer it only takes 5 minutes…

# 501- one to take the old bulb out, and 500 to proclaim that it confirms the biblical record…

# 501- one to take the old bulb out, and 500 to proclaim that it dis-confirms the biblical record…(so much for the univocity of the archaeological record, eh?)

# Well, actually, it only takes a couple to remove the old bulb, but then they get so involved in studying the old bulb (especially in trying to correlate its appearance with all other burned-out bulbs within a 1000 km radius), that they never get around to putting the new bulb in…