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Category: practical jokes

Ice

Ice

Sandy was travelling on a long distance train and had a drink too many while on board. When he called the service person for the eighth time, the attendant got a little irritated and asked, “Sir, what can I do for you NOW?”

Sandy said, “Please get me some more ice, this is my last drink.”

The service person replied, “I am sorry sir, but that would not be possible.”

Sandy asked, “Why?”

The Service person replied, “That’s because the dead body was taken off the train at the previous stop.”

Joke of the day-Hurt

Joke of the day-Hurt

Jason goes to see his doctor with his head bleeding. After applying bandages, the doc asks him, “How did you get hurt?”
Jason replied, “My mother-in-law came home and my wife asked me to order something for her.”
The doc asked, “and?”
Jason replied, “I ordered a cab.” 
Funny joke-Smart guide

Funny joke-Smart guide

Tina was exploring the outskirts of the jungle with her tour guide Raju, when they came across some animal tracks. 

Frightened, she said, “Those look like leopard tracks to me.”
Raju replied, “You go and check where they lead to and I will discover where they originated from.”
Good jokes-Excited husband

Good jokes-Excited husband

Anita called out to her husband Ricky from the bathroom, “Sweetheart, I have applied soap and I need you to come and rub with your muscular hands.”
Ricky got excited and thought to himself, “Today is my lucky day.”
He ran to the bathroom but was saddened to see Anita fully clothed. He said to her”Where am I supposed to rub?”
Anita replied, “There is no need to be too enthusiastic. I have sprinkled detergent soap on the clothes in the tub. Please rub them, rinse them and dry them. I have to go out for shopping.”
Doctor joke-Don’t waste

Doctor joke-Don’t waste

Gina called the doctor and said, “My husband Phil unintentionally swallowed an Aspirin. Please advise what should be done.”
The good doctor replied, “Give him a headache. Now that he has already taken the drug, why let it go waste?”
A handsome collection

A handsome collection

There was an annal event and meeting of the Lions Club in Goa, India. There were elaborate arrangements, and a band was also called in to make the occasion musical and eventful. After the meeting was over, the speaker announced, “We have organized a charity event for Old Age Home. You are all requested to donate generously. Those who wish to donate kindly stand up and you will be approached by a person who will collect your contributions.”

Nobody moved. So, the speaker asked the band to play the National Anthem.

Everybody had to stand up and there was a handsome collection that evening.

Dare

Dare

Gary and Amanda were looking out of the window at the pouring rain. Suddenly Amanda said, “I dare you to take off all your clothes and dance in the rain.”

Never one to refuse a challenge, Gary took off his clothes and ran out of the door.

Gary was having a good laugh at his own daring, until the door slammed and the bus drove off.

Gruesome sight

Gruesome sight

Rick could not believe his ears when his friend, Sam told him that he had killed his wife with a shotgun and had buried her in the back yard. Rick rushed next door to Sam’s house and was met with a gruesome sight. She was buried in the ground with her bums sticking out of the ground.

Rick said to Sam ,”What is going on? What made you do that?”

Sam replied, “Well, I needed a place to park the bike.”

Practical jokes-Mobile phone etiquettes

Practical jokes-Mobile phone etiquettes

After a hard day at work in the busy city of Washington DC, Natasha settled down in a metro seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Pentagon.

A man sitting next to her dialed a number on his mobile phone and started talking loudly – “Hey darling! This is Pete, I’m on the metro – I know I am late but there were a couple of meetings in office – no, I wasn’t fooling around with the boss’s moll. No honey, there’s no one else in my life – you are the only one I love. I swear….”, and so he went on and on.

Twenty minutes had passed and despite angry glances from Natasha, he was still speaking loudly on the phone. Natasha, majorly irritated by now, yelled, “Hey Pete, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!”

After that, Pete was never heard talking on his mobile phone in public.