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Category: sarcastic jokes

Non-stop

Non-stop

David tells his friend on the long distance call, “It’s been pouring non-stop here since the past 4 days. You know my wife Julia feels extremely down when it rains and keeps looking though the window. If it doesn’t stop raining in the next 2 days, guess I will have to let her in.”

Hilarious jokes-Say your prayers!

Hilarious jokes-Say your prayers!

My neighours, the Jenkins family went downtown to have dinner at a nice restaurant. As soon as the waiter served the food, Mr. Jenkins exclaimed, “Wow! Smell the aroma? This looks delicious. Let’s start.”
Mrs. Jenkins interrupted, “Wait a moment. Should we not say our prayers before we start, just like we do at home?” 
Mrs. Jenkins retorted, “It’s different at home. Here the Chef knows what he is doing!”
Adult jokes-Driving skills

Adult jokes-Driving skills

Bob was trying to impress his wife Clara with his driving skills. Stepping on the accelerator, he said to her, “Just watch my speed now.”

The moment he accelerated, the car broke down and halted.

Clara started laughing loudly.

Bob asked why she was laughing.

Clara replied, “It’s nothing. I just remembered your last night’s adventure.”

Varieties of wives

Varieties of wives

There are two varieties of wives in this world. 
One variety is silent, attractive, affectionate, thoughtful, considerate, good listener and not quarrelsome.
The second variety is in your home.
Funniest jokes-The town drunk

Funniest jokes-The town drunk

Sister Nancy had taken it on herself to abolish alcoholism from the small town she lived in. So she went to the local bar, holding banners against alcohol. Just then, Peter the town drunk, came out of the bar, completely inebriated and smelling heavily of beer. 
Sister Nancy glared at him and said, “If you try to enter the Lord’s gates with your breath reeking of alcohol, do you think the Lord will allow you to enter?”
Peter replied, “Lady, when I am at the Lord’s gates, I don’t think I will be carrying my breath with me.”
One line joke-Big decision

One line joke-Big decision

Last eve, I had a drink too many and I thought that I should give up drinking, but then I thought that such a big decision should not be taken in haste, particularly when I am drunk.