David tells his friend on the long distance call, “It’s been pouring non-stop here since the past 4 days. You know my wife Julia feels extremely down when it rains and keeps looking though the window. If it doesn’t stop raining in the next 2 days, guess I will have to let her in.”
My neighours, the Jenkins family went downtown to have dinner at a nice restaurant. As soon as the waiter served the food, Mr. Jenkins exclaimed, “Wow! Smell the aroma? This looks delicious. Let’s start.”
Mrs. Jenkins interrupted, “Wait a moment. Should we not say our prayers before we start, just like we do at home?”
Mrs. Jenkins retorted, “It’s different at home. Here the Chef knows what he is doing!”
Bob was trying to impress his wife Clara with his driving skills. Stepping on the accelerator, he said to her, “Just watch my speed now.”
The moment he accelerated, the car broke down and halted.
Clara started laughing loudly.
Bob asked why she was laughing.
Clara replied, “It’s nothing. I just remembered your last night’s adventure.”
There are two varieties of wives in this world.
One variety is silent, attractive, affectionate, thoughtful, considerate, good listener and not quarrelsome.
The second variety is in your home.
Gina shouted at her husband Phil, “I have only hatred and disgust for you.”
Phil shot back, “What an amazing coincidence!”
Sister Nancy had taken it on herself to abolish alcoholism from the small town she lived in. So she went to the local bar, holding banners against alcohol. Just then, Peter the town drunk, came out of the bar, completely inebriated and smelling heavily of beer.
Sister Nancy glared at him and said, “If you try to enter the Lord’s gates with your breath reeking of alcohol, do you think the Lord will allow you to enter?”
Peter replied, “Lady, when I am at the Lord’s gates, I don’t think I will be carrying my breath with me.”
Last eve, I had a drink too many and I thought that I should give up drinking, but then I thought that such a big decision should not be taken in haste, particularly when I am drunk.