Browsed by
Category: very funny jokes

Famous singer

Famous singer

A friend of mine from Chandigarh, who had aspirations to become a famous singer, tried to participate in a show. He persuaded the organizers to give him a big fee and told them, “Everyone knows me!”

Finally, the musical event happened and only 5 people turned up.

The manager of the event was mad at him and shouted, “You have deceived us! You claimed that everyone knows you but only 5 people showed up!”

My friend replied, “Relax. The people who turned up are the ones who didn’t know me!”

We care about hygiene

We care about hygiene

Joejoe asked Bubba, “Why are you heating the knife?”

Bubba replied, “Because I am tired of my life and want to commit suicide.”

Joejoe said, “Ok, but why are you heating it?”

Bubba replied, “What’s wrong with you? You don’t want me to catch an infection, do you?”

Sloshed

Sloshed

Bob said to his friend Nick, “Dude last night I was completely sloshed. I reached home and kept ringing the bell but my wife didn’t open the door. Had to spend the night on the streets.”

Nick asked, “Did you reprimand your wife in the morning?”

Bob replied, “No. When I got over the hangover, I realized that my wife had gone to spend the weekend at her parents. The keys were in my pocket all the time.”

Ice

Ice

Sandy was travelling on a long distance train and had a drink too many while on board. When he called the service person for the eighth time, the attendant got a little irritated and asked, “Sir, what can I do for you NOW?”

Sandy said, “Please get me some more ice, this is my last drink.”

The service person replied, “I am sorry sir, but that would not be possible.”

Sandy asked, “Why?”

The Service person replied, “That’s because the dead body was taken off the train at the previous stop.”

Under the table

Under the table

A dude was having a candle light dinner with a pretty lady in a nice restaurant. They were smiling and laughing and generally having a good time.

Ana, the waitress, who was serving another customer at the next table, noticed the lady suddenly bend and slide under the table. She also saw that the dude did not seem to take any notice and was just whistling to himself.

Ana, in her profession had seen many strange things but this one seemed a little too odd. She was further surprised to see the lady settle herself under the table and the dude continued to be oblivious of the situation.

Very intrigued and a little concerned about what the other customers would think, Ana went to the table and said, “Excuse me Sir, I think your wife just went under the table.”

The dude replied, “As a matter of fact, she just walked in.”

Drunk loafer

Drunk loafer

The drunk loafer said to the man at the bus stop, “Are you Spanish?”

Man at the bus stop replied, “No, I am Indian.”

The drunk loafer said, “No! You are Spanish!”

Man at the bus stop replied, “No, I am Indian.”

The Drunk loafer said, “No! You ARE Spanish!”

Man at the bus stop, now irritated, replied, “Ok, I am Spanish.”

The Drunk loafer said, “But you look like an Indian!”

Joke of the day-Surprise!

Joke of the day-Surprise!

Little Johnny says to his mother, “Mom, I was a small brother.”

His mother says to him, “Your papa is in Jordan. Let him come back, we will think about it then.”

Little Johnny, not to give up so soon, says, “Let us give him a surprise.”

His mother screams, “Just be quiet. You are already a surprise for your papa. No more surprises!”